50 years today. People are asking what are you going to do , for this is a “BIG” birthday. What is Don going to get you for he spoils you rotten. How are y’all celebrating? My answer is… simple.  We had an outdoor dinner at the farm  last night with the kids and our best friend, Dee.  Don  has asked several times what I wanted for my birthday? I really don’t know.

I am enjoying the silence this morning on the farm for the first half of my birthday.  All the dogs are sprawled out around me on the floor and I do know what I want for my  birthday, as I  humbly whisper to the Lord.

I want my Dad to be healed from Cancer. I want my dear friend, DeeDee to be healed from Cancer. I want  Don to  retire so we can enjoy this farm that we have worked so hard to have. I want to see my loved ones happy and whole. I want to see the world I live in go back to being more simple.  Faith, Family and Friends were the Southern way of life growing up .  I want the world to slow down and people to put down their phones and truly care and cherish the person that is in front of them.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed as we all were reminded this week as we said goodbye to one I adored. Brandon Clough left us much too soon. It is so hard to say goodbye to one that filled my heart with so much joy through the years. The last words he wrote to me were, I love you on a  Facebook message.  How I wish I could tell him one more time how proud I was of him. How much I adored him. He was truly like a little brother to me. Please remember friends, work is NOT the most important thing, family and friends and honoring the Lord is the only  goal worth attaining.

How I have changed reflecting back. What have I learned? What can I share with the younger generation that would have a lasting impact? For starters…

I don’t know how people make it day to day without the Lord. Living in this world,  it is hard some days,  even knowing  my future is secure in my Heavenly Father’s righteous right hand. I have come to a place that I truly have accepted that I do not have to be right. I do not have to be first. I do not have to be praised.

TRUTH….  It is worth fighting for. The world is fighting against it every single day. A lie does not become truth and wrong does not become right just because our society says so and embraces it . The Lord’s word is sovereign over all.  I do have to stand for truth no matter the risk. I do require honesty and kindness in my relationships. It is what I ask for in all my relationships and I give both back whole heartily.

I  look in the mirror and I have changed through the years but I have learned to love myself…  wrinkles, flaws, mistakes  and all. Funny, how just  a few years ago, I would not go out of the house without being dolled up and dressed to the nines, ( which I can still do from time to time) but,  now it is jeans and t-shirts and many days without make up. The dirt on me is ok, for it shows I have spent time with the horses, they are the reason for why we bought this farm. They are the ministry that the Lord has given us. For the lost and abused children, for the hurting adults, for the days that the world has beat us up. We can go out with them in the pasture, in the stillness and find solace. Best therapy money can buy. One of my birthday presents from Dee is a plaque that says, “The sound of hooves on the ground defines freedom.”

I  have learned to respect myself enough that when others continue to not show respect time and time again , it is time that they exit the door in my life. Some people can stay in my heart but not in my life. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation and that is ok. Walking away at times is the wisest thing and the kindest thing I can do for myself. Harsh words do not have to be said. I  now know, I do not have to have the last word.

The Lord continues to show me that I cannot be more concerned with pleasing people than pleasing Him. This needs to be a routine soul search for us all .  He draws  a line in the sand for us all.  We  must choose which side we are going to be on. We can please people or We can please Him but we  cannot have both. We have to learn this lesson to do the work He has called us to do.

I AM committed to Him. The days I fall on my face, He is still  my guide.  He picks me up when I have lost my way.  We can wander away  so quickly  if we place our focus on our circumstances.

I want to stand firm as His Prayer Warrior no matter what battle comes my way.  His grace does abound in deepest waters. When the water is over my head it does not really matter anymore how deep the water is for He promises He will be my guide.  He has chosen me. I do not have to fear for He is with me. I do not have to be discouraged for He is my Father. He will strengthen me and he will uphold me .

Truly striving to be a  DIFFERENCE MAKER. I want to know when I am gone that the world was a better place because I lived that dash in between , the 1966- … To do this I MUST place circumstances that I have no control over at the foot of the cross. I must trust Him even when I do not understand or have the whys answered.

Half a century old , as my son said yesterday. Well, for this second half, may I have the wisdom, strength and courage to finish this life well. So that…. The Lord  will have the words to say to me that I long to hear, “Well done”. Those two words hold my future. They are my victory. They are my trophy at the end of this race in life.

Lord, thank you for my family. Thank you for my husband of twenty years through the mountains and potholes of life.  Thank you for true friends.  The greatest gift on earth for me is being a Mother to Joshua and Ashley . Now, it is a mother also to 3 horses, 5 dogs and 1 cat later.  May we all grow old serving the Lord, together,  for with our Lord on our side, the best is yet to come ~

Now, I am longing to walk down the gravel road to the barn and spend time with my beautiful horses.  Work is on the back burner for the day. No farm work today either. NO daily cleaning either.  Just going to enjoy the simple things of life for today. Thank you Lord for giving me this life to live. For your name sake, lead me and guide me ~