The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God thou wilt not despise.” Ps. 51:17
Have you ever seen a “broken spirit?” Have you ever seen a “broken heart?” A person that is so destroyed, they no longer postures themselves to disguise it? This person has come to terms with their fragility and there is no more hiding. Your heart has so much physical pain that you truly feel like it is breaking. You lose your breath. This hopelessness and broken state would cause most people to inwardly cringe at the thought.Every person has their “breaking point”; a place where once she is taken there, she no longer is the same person again. I know, for I have been there.
How many people live their lives in fear of this “breaking point”. Thousands succumb to a tedious life of mediocrity by emptying their wallets to numb the desire for more; numbing the pain with people or material things or substances because they fear the risk of where it might take them, or what it would make them. Some loose themselves in reckless abandonment to do it all or have it all before life consumes them or their window of opportunity.
Our Pastor Chris just taught a series about Worship. We all worship something. We were designed to worship our Creator. If we do not worship Him, we are still worshipping something. What do you think about the most? What do you focus on the most? Whatever you worship, you become. Whatever we choose to worship , can change us.
I am so thankful that in God’s eyes, a person who has risked it all to no avail, and has come to the end of themselves is actually in the best position. They are in the position to receive grace. When a person is completely broken, they can now accept their personal vulnerability, their fragility and come to the humble beginning place where God can rebuild them. So many mornings, I think back to the wonderful words of a spiritual mentor of mine. She said, “Darla, what you are describing to me is brokenness. The Lord has broken you and emptied you. Now, He can pour into you all the good things that he wanted you to have in the first place.” I think of her words when I am questioning where do I belong? I think of her words when I feel like, I don’t belong. It is amazing to me how may times I feel my confidence rattled on this journey of discipleship. The feeling of being in a room full of people and feeling alone. Does anyone really understand you? I call it the “Charlie in the box syndrome” instead of the Jack in the box. Sometimes I feel like I am the last of the Mohicans. Each time I start to feel this and I will take a moment to stop and evaluate things, I am finding that I have taken my eyes off of my Creator. I have started focusing on the circumstances or as much as I hate to admit it, myself.
I wonder sometimes why I am so drawn to horses. Why would anyone spend so much time and money and energy and Doctor trips for them and myself for this hobby. I can tell you my spirit is so responsive when I am with them. Words are spoken rarely. It is a spiritual understanding. It is body language. It is looking into the eyes of this magnificent horse and seeing yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly. They teach me everyday that they reflect the leadership that I give. They reflect the confidence I possess or do not possess. The Lord uses them so many times for my spiritual lessons. In the quietness with them, His voice speaks volumes. Sometimes it is the only time I can find peace is in the quiet time sitting with the horses and listening for the whisper of the Lord.
When I have these thoughts that can literally paralyze me , when I am struggling, I must choose to re-direct my energy. I must choose to seek His righteousness and establish my true identity. I must choose to start living each moment living life on the inside out. God created us in His image and even with our human shortcomings, WE are a masterpiece. The gift of self-will has caused many to rebel with a spirit of pride. The nature of pride repels the hand of help from anyone–even God. This is the quickest way to move out from under the protection of the Almighty One. How I want and desperately need and desire to be in the protective fortress of my God Almighty.
Being broken is not bad, it is actually just the beginning. The more broken you have become, the better God’s restoration power can be seen through you. As Our Pastor quoted, “a man on his face before God can never fall from that position.” When God is finished with the masterpiece of your life and my life, it may not be what you or I expected, but it will definitely be better than anything we could have made of it.
If there is one line that is engraved on my heart, it is His Mercies Are New Every Morning. I am so thankful. So thankful that our God is not a God of disorder but of peace. May we all continue to run forward in His love and His approval. Some morning it may just be one foot in front of another. Baby steps but steps in the right direction.
My hope and prayer is for each one of you that read this is that you choose this day to serve the Lord Almighty. Have a wonderful day. Be Blessed. Bless others ~ Now, it is off to the barn I go ~ There are three horses who are waiting for their breakfast ~
Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her. Luke 1:45