To Celebrate my 48th Birthday today, this entry is my present to me.
It has taken me 48 years in this journey but I can now truly say, I believe my past is redeemed. My present life is really making sense. My future is secure in my Heavenly Father’s righteous right hand. I truly have accepted that I do not have to be right. I do not have to be first. I do not have to be praised. I do have to stand for truth no matter the risk. I do require honesty and kindness in my relationships. It is what I ask for in all my relationships and I give both back whole heartily. I have learned to love myself . I also have learned to respect myself enough that when others continue to not show respect time and time again , it is time that they exit the door in my life. Some people can stay in my heart but not in my life. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation and that is ok. Walking away at times is the wisest thing and the kindest thing I can do for myself. Arguments and harsh words do not have to be said. I do not have to have the last word.
The Lord has shown me that I cannot be more concerned with pleasing people than pleasing Him. He drew a line in the sand for me. He said I must choose which side I am going to be on. I can please people or I can please Him but I cannot have both. For I have to learn this lesson to do the work He has called me to do. I will place circumstances that I have no control over at the foot of the cross. I will trust Him even when I do not understand or have the whys answered.
I AM committed to Him. He is my guide. I want to stand firm as His Prayer Warrior no matter what battle comes my way. I know His grace does abound in deepest waters. When the water is over my head it does not really matter anymore how deep the water is for He promises He will be my guide. I am His servant. He has chosen me. I do not have to fear for He is with me. I do not have to be discouraged for He is my Father. He will strengthen me and he will uphold me with His righteous right hand.
For the second half of my life, Lead me to trust you Father without any borders. I trust that you know my heart’s greatest desires. One is to see both of my children serving you . Difference makers for you. Every ounce of their talent poured out for you. Thank you for my life cheerleader in Don. Thank you for giving him to me to share this journey. Guide me and teach me to be a better wife in all that I do . Lord, we call upon your name, Help us to keep reaching out to this world and letting them know you are real. Hold my hand and grow my faith deeper so I will stand firm in your promises. You have done amazing things in my life and I know you will continue to do so if I will stay firm in my commitment to you.
Hold my hand Lord, my children’s hands , my husband’s hands, all of my family and loved ones. Draw each one closer to you. Thank you for placing so many precious people in my life. May I have the wisdom and strength and courage to finish this life well. So that you will have the words to say to me that I long to hear, “Well done”. Those two words, those two precious words. They hold my future. They are my victory. They are my trophy at the end of this race. I have the determination that you instilled in this Italian DNA and with your guidance I will finish strong ~ Lord, I do choose to grown old with you for I do believe the best is yet to be ~